I read a scripture that arrested me: Psalms 68:19 Bless be the Lord who daily loads us with benefits, the God of our salvation. (NKJ version) Of course I “know” that, o no? I mean, daily, todo los dias, he abundantly gives us benefits, yet so many times, I haven’t paid attention. I’ve taken for granted God’s constant watch over us, protecting us and wanting us to enjoy life. I decided I needed to pay more attention by counting my blessings.God is good always, he keeps a good eye on my inheritance (mis nietos) for sure.
Grandkids bring such joy to our daily lives, bringing laugh out loud moments. Sometimes the weight of stuff distracts us and we don’t realize what an incredible benefit grandkids and laughter are to our lives.
Jeremiah and the Dinosaur Hair
So it happened this past Wednesday night, Jonathan, mi hijo, and his family were home from church, they had a great midweek service. That was the report I got from the pastor’s wife, Denise, who just happens to be mi nuera, Jonathan’s wife. Winding down five hyper but tired children is not an easy task. When the lights were out and finally, not a creature was stirring, even impatient little Uriah was asleep. Denise, my daughter in law was herself entering that second stage of sleep where the brain slows down and eye movement stops. Sweet rest was descending.
Derepente! Jeremiah, her three year old, burst into the room! Esperate. This is a common nightly occurrence and it always disturbs the peace. He was squirmy and mumbling something about his nose and his dinosaur. Denise was tired and groggy. During the day she has to be in complete focus mode to interpret his lively conversation and that is hard enough! Night time interpretation is impossible. Besides, he should be sleeping, not talking or playing with his dinosaur still!
Mommy: Jeremiah you need to go back to bed.
Jeremiah: mumble mumble…my nose.
Mommy: Jeremiah, then go blow your nose.
He hurries to blow his nose and comes back to the room.
Ahora si, my son wakes up to hear him talking about his dinosaur and assuming he wants somebody to play with him, he orders him back to bed.
Daddy: Jeremiah go back to bed. (Groggy but stern voice)
Jeremiah, turned around and went back to bed where his dinosaur awaited. No use arguing with stubborn and tired parents. Somehow he managed to sleep again, another night time episode was over and all was quiet in the house, good night stuffy dinosaur.
In the morning, the busyness of breakfast and school kept everyone occupied. Ama was coming over for P.E. and deskwork had to be completed. While the girls were finishing their last assignment, Denise went to put the baby down for a nap, y otra vez just as he was dozing off, Jeremiah burst into the room.
Jeremiah: Mommy mumble mumble my nose.
Mommy: What is it Jeremiah?
Jeremiah: something in my nose.
That’s when Denise noticed a white string hanging out of his nose. Asi es.
Mommy: What in the World? Come here Jeremiah, what is that?
She pulled on the string and Jeremiah sneezed, spraying her. Pero, the string didn’t budge! Jeremiah squirmed. Denise pulled again, causing him to sneeze again. Hijole! Jeremiah has big nostrils for a three year old and out of one nostril came out a big white snot ball! Denise was able to grab the “specimen” into a diaper wipe and clean off all the mucus that had formed around it. A white spongy mass the size of a pea was revealed. Que?! When Jeremiah saw it, he recognized it.
Mommy: What is this Jeremiah?
Jeremiah: It’s dinosaur hair!
By the time I arrived and heard the story, Jeremiah had been listening and needed to correct and change it a bit. He had a story to tell his ama, mommy had obviously missed some very important parts in the story.
After hearing Denise’s version I decided to ask Jeremiah what happened, he was waiting for his chance, get the camera rolling Ama!. Here’s my attempt at interpreting Jeremiah’s account, with translation from his mother.
“Here’s my dinosaur. He has an owie. Here and here and here and here. I prayed for him. He’s gonna die. I went like this (he put the dinosaur to his face) and I got his hair in my nose. I went to tell my mommy. I told her I needed my Bibleman costume to help him.
En Conclusion:
Ves, God’s providence is beautiful! We can’t always see or know all the things a curious toddler does, objects in the nose can be painful and/or dangerous, gracias a Dios that the string was detectable and my lil Jeremiah was able to quickly sneeze out that “dinosaur hair” I wish I could say that he learned a lesson, pero mi hijo, says that Jeremiah walks into every imaginable and unimaginable situation possible! Y me pregunto, How in the world could we even live without the loads of benefits God provides daily?
I was going to attempt to make this a catchy poem, porque I wanted it to be muy bonito, but my brain doesn’t work in poetry. The the raw story, no flowery lines.
Homeschooling and Physical Education
A need arose for my homeschooling grandchildren. They were in need of a formal Physical education class (PE) with concepts taught and learned of course. So, Ama was called to the rescue. Por su puesto that I was flattered, challenged, a little bit worried and excited to be a part of their PE time.
Would my abuela bones and muscles permit me to “teach” P.E.? Would I be able to keep up with the kids? I think I have to demonstrate the drills, que no? I’ve been walking regularly, that should help my cardio.
My Basketball Portfolio
I drifted back into my own homeschooling days. Man! I better not tell my daughter in law about my previous PE class or I’d lose the opportunity. I would take my kids and their cousins to play basketball, not really teaching them any concepts or rules. I just divided us up into two teams and we played to win. It was quite a sight. Daniella bounced the ball then slapped it because she didn’t know what dribbling was. Her cousin Cassi was ferocious on defense, all she knew was that she had to keep her opponent from shooting and scoring. She was doing a lot of slapping and shoving. Jonathan was taller so he could easily keep the ball from the girls but couldn’t really shoot to score. My nephew Emmanuel mostly laughed at his sister Cassi as she raged against him in defense. Nikki, on the other hand, was cool and serious, her team had to win, or else, she had some natural coordination. Those particular PE days were exhausting and painful, I hated how uncoordinated we were but I loved the competitiveness to win.
I also remembered my high school days when I coached a basketball team. My team was composed of 3rd and 4th grade little girls, it was our first year of little league basketball for girls. I was teaching concepts and working on drills. I wanted my team to win every game. And we did! An exciting time for my little desert town of Calipatria. I loved it!
I was still very much looking forward to teaching them how to play basketball, though my own high school basketball ambitions weren’t going as planned. Hijole, I do feel like a ‘confession’ is needed here, my cheeks are pink, muy avergonzada, as I tell you that although I knew I could play basketball well enough for starting lineup or first string, Mr. Wilson the basketball coach couldn’t see my potential, he was stuck on my speed! Or lack of it 🙄 He said “Rosie, you can play more, if you stay on the J.V. squad.” 😭 I was a Junior, what humiliation. Was I there to play basketball or look cool on the bench? But that’s in the past buried now…almost, maybe after this post.
I’ve had three PE classes with my grandkids. The first one was a full class. My three older grandsons and my two older granddaughters. Primos competing! The boys were showing off their speed and the girls were trying to keep up. In another class I had just the girls and my two year grandson, he was determined to keep up with his sisters and I wasn’t going to baby him. He ran the sprints, although he cheated, he dribbled, and ran around and ran out of gas, or maybe it was his battery depleted? I can tell they’re having a good time and so am I.The girls practice their dribbling at home and hey have improved. I also sent home easy drills for them to strengthen their arm muscles to get that heavy ball up to the hoop. This abuela is taking her PE class muy seriamente.
En conclusion:
A few years ago, before grandkids I participated in a weight loss clinical study and when I was asked why, I said, well, soon I’ll have grandkids and I need to be able to keep up with them, and I do! Mas o menos, because they are fast and full of energy. I did quickly discover that my quads needed strength and my arm muscles have turned into wings now. To be able to play basketball or any easy sport I have to just keep moving. Y asi es, I’m again an unofficial PE coach. The beauty in this story is that while I never knew what it was like to enjoy my abuelas,God has given me a chance for ‘grand’ relationships.
As I’ve grown older, I have always loved birthday celebrations, especially mine. Bien vanidosa! I love all the happy birthday wishes I receive all day long, and throughout the week 🥳 and all of a sudden I don’t mind sharing my size, hijole!
Dale, dale, dale. (Hit hit hit)
No pierdas el tino, (Don’t lose your sureness)
porque si lo pierdes, pierdes el camino. (because if you lose it, you’ll lose your way)
Ya le diste una, ya le diste dos, ya le diste tres. (You’ve hit it once, you’ve hit it twice, you’ve hit it thrice)
Y tu tiempo se acabó.(Now your time is up)
My birthday celebration
A Birthday Memory
I was going on sixteen, los gringos dicen “a sweet 16 birthday”, que sweet! I was feeling anything but sweet. I was feeling like the emotional teen I was. Nothing special was gonna happen, my birthday was on a weekday, and if it wasn’t, I wasn’t going to have a big birthday party anyway. Things were terrible in every part of my life! They had not miraculously changed liked I thought they would when I entered high school and they seemed to progress to horrible! I was supposed to be pretty, instead I was getting pimples. High school was supposed to be all fun and games, it wasn’t. Volleyball season, my favorite sport, was in jeopardy. My position as ‘the’ setter was shared with a little freshman girl, she was trying to steal my starting place on the varsity team! Imaginate! How could Miss George do this to me? I was the setter, I was relieved that at least she couldn’t serve like me, that should keep me off the bench.
I was struggling in math, my geometry class was almost too much for me, it was pretty humiliating to have to constantly be asking for help in class and out. Pero, the worst of all my tribulations was that the love of my life, the most handsome boy in school, still didn’t know I existed. It didn’t help me that I was a wreck anytime he even came near me. At sixteen with all these dramatic situations I felt like my life was over?
I wasn’t gonna make a big deal of my birthday. Manana I would pretend like it was just another day and it would pass without notice. Quizas, the whole year would just pass unnoticed. y de repente! I could just be all grown up and pretty and ‘he’ would notice me then. But I couldn’t help it, I always made a big deal on my birthday, my mind always went into fantastic fantasies of a surprise party with a bang. Maybe, just maybe this time ama would surprise me? Don’t get me wrong, I definitely didn’t want another dress up birthday, my quince was way too much for me. Anyway, I went to bed pushing down that hope, after all it was just another weekday, nothing special ever happened in the middle of week.
Posole Celebration:
The next morning, while I was still sleeping, ama was preparing a celebration. She had invited Sarah and Lisa, our friends from down the street. Patty and Marina were present, it was early, the day hadn’t begun and my ama had stirred them awake to celebrate.
When everyone was ready, they burst into my bedroom wishing me a happy birthday, they were singing and I was surprised. My ama had gotten up extra early or went to bed super late and in very Mexican tradition prepared Posole, a delicious red chile meat and hominy soup. however she did it, we all enjoyed a nice hot bowl of chicken posole with all the fixings for my birthday. It is a sweet sixteen birthday memory that only now I can truly appreciate. Gracias ama, there’s that wish again for sending texts to heaven. “Ama, I really did love your posole, and I didn’t notice then, how much sacrifice and love you put into serving us a hot bowl or plate of your delicious food, but I know it now. I can’t wait to thank you in person ama, I’m all grown up now.
Throughout that day, my first day of sixteen, I got lots of attention from my friends and teachers for my birthday and I reveled in it. It kind of got me addicted to wanting ‘extra doses’ of attention on my birthdays.
Here are some things I’ve appreciated throughout the years on my birthday:
-Phone calls from Marina to wish me a happy birthday, although sometimes she’s done it on Daniella’s birthday or my anniversary, es que she thinks often of me verdad?
-My brother Fernando was always very good about calling or sending a card
-Brother Ben, before he was my Benjamin, gave me a bible as my first birthday gift when we were dating. I was impressed by his spirituality.
-My Benjamin does everything he can to make it special for me, with help from the kids and my friends of course. I learned a hard lesson the year I moved my apa into our home. I was struggling with the caregiving transition and I was feeling sorry for myself. I said to him “Don’t worry about doing anything special for my birthday this year, things are kind of hard right now” Y sabes que? He believed me, he really thought I didn’t want to celebrate?! Hijole! The day of my birthday came and he wished me a happy birthday, gave me my gift and my kids did the same and it was a quiet day and I couldn’t believe it! An uneventful birthday! I was so indignant, how could Ben be so cold blooded? He had taken my words literally!? Like I said, he goes the extra mile to ensure my happy birthdays 😀 Mira nomas, maybe I haven’t grown up yet?
-On my 40th birthday, I had been mourning the “falling” of my body, so my son Jonathan figured he would cheer me up by making a cake of a woman (me) with boobs in the proper place, hijole!
-One year my kids pitched in to pay for a nice trip to visit my bestie.
-Jonathan, my first born has had a new birthday family tradition. He has enjoyed ruining the rhythm of the Happy Birthday Song, he believes off key or no key is much more fun. In the end it’s a bunch of mumbo jumbo laughter before the candles get blown out.
-My church family loves me and lavishes me with beautiful happy birthday wishes and gifts and lunch dates
Pero, when I’m not celebrating the time of my birthday, I see too much gray and too much wrinkles. Luego, I feel and sometimes hear my creaky bones. Asi es, and it shouldn’t be like this. Thomas, my youngest, is the best gift receiver I’ve ever known. He is always delighted with every gift he receives and with the same token he is always excited to give the gifts he buys others on their birthday. When I really really grow up, I want to be just like Thomas, a grateful person. I do give thanks to God for my life, and for my new year, 57 is not a milestone year but it has a few new beginnings in it, y gracias a Dios for that too.
Labor and deliveries are always bien dramaticos.The stories we ladies exchange are so extra! Y por supuesto que our story is the best/worst experience. When we relive the experience it magnifies, suddenly the pain level of those contractions are off the chart! The messy water bag breakage covers the entire house.
Pues, here’s how I remember my second labor and delivery 30 years ago.
Our second child was another boy. My two older sisters wondered and hoped I would get a girl, since we all had only boys. Pero during my ultrasound the technician kept referring to the baby as “he” and while I was disappointed, I was also relieved. I had a secret fear of little girls, frilly dressy, high pitched crying and whining hijole! What the heck was I gonna do if a girl came into my life?!
Except for one scare early on, it was an easy peasy pregnancy and except for the anxiety of going past my due date, everything was really really good.
Then my due date came and went, un dia, luego dos. That last week of September, I was waddling along doing life impatiently. Finally that last Sunday morning as I walked down the stairs to the bathroom again, lo and behold! The process had begun! I was in labor for sure as I stared down at the plug! Asi es, lil Joshua would most likely arrive by that evening of September 27th.
I walked as quickly as I could, just imagine a combination of a duck and a penguin walking. I had to be careful, what if the baby slipped out right there on the stairs? I was excited, we rushed home to call the doctor, acuerdense, it was pre-cellphone era, we were sure he would say “rush over to the hospital, I’ll meet you there.” I didn’t get through to the doctor right away. The call center would relay my emergency call. I waited and waited and waited, an eternity of 20 minutes. The doctor asked a couple of questions about my contractions, and I wondered, heck yea! I’m in pain, I felt like I was gonna start my period, it was so bad! How did I feel? Sick and tired, ready to get this baby out. Then he said “Hopefully, you’ll have the baby soon. We’ll see how you’re doing tomorrow after your sonogram and measure the baby.” Que? Manana?! I was still going to be pregnant tomorrow?!
I was forced to wait and watch all through the evening and late into the night. Slowly I began to feel what the real contractions were. Then, I think I was recognizing a pattern? Yes, it was definitely a pattern, Ben had to wake up. I called the hospital, I told them they were coming in strong and close together. Yup, it was about every 5 minutes, I’m sure. So they said come on in so we can check you. Ahora si, Ben got up and dressed and off we went to have our baby.
An hour later, midnite. It was officially tomorrow and I was still pregnant and on my way back home. At home I couldn’t rest, the baby was active, quietly laboring while Ben snored, bien agusto. I sat miserable in the living room, trying to get comfortable on the couch. Y de repente! Pop! Not heard but felt. That! Was not pee. On and on it gushed out, all over my sofa and carpet. Vamonos! They wouldn’t send me home this time and they didn’t. My coaching team was there to support me, sort of. My older sis, Lupe and Ben were there. She was telling me not to tense up because it was only making things worse. Screaming wouldn’t help anyone, so I didn’t, crying didn’t make things better either. The secret to enduring the contractions was to relax by breathing. Relax? When your belly is suddenly in a vice grip contraction? Pero pues, I coped and my breathing technique was to whistle through a contraction, I would handle this pain. with smiling eyes my sister silently chuckled at how silly I looked, Ben smiled only with his eyes, he knew better. After 12 hours I was desperate and at 1 centimeter dilated, it would be the end of me. If I wasn’t given pain meds soon, Ben would have to take baby Joshua home alone. I got the much needed relief through an epidural and feeling only the pressure of contractions I was able to laugh with my sister about my whistling. De repente! Something went wrong and the epidural wasn’t working. I went from no pain to horrific shocking pain every few minutes. The nurse said “It’s not pain, it’s pressure” Que pressure! I was having shocking pain. It was discovered that the catheter wasn’t delivering the meds. My body was distressed and so was my baby. By the time the problem was fixed, the focus was on calming my baby down. Hijole! 16 hours later and dilated to 3, the doctor said my baby’s heart was racing and it was measuring at a dangerous rate. The verdict, another C-section delivery. I cried. I felt like I had failed. Ben was with me and tried not to look too hard as the doctor pulled that little human out of the womb, just a little messy. I felt no pain, the epidural was doing it’s job. I was very aware of what was happening, but I couldn’t see anything. A fat little baby had been squeezed out nice and plump, a healthy 9 lb. 6 oz. baby girl with dark hair. Such relief. Wait! A girl?! Una niña?! Hijole! Sugar and Spice and everything nice? What was I to do? Ben took hold of our baby girl and knew exactly how to love her. Me on the other hand, that first day we met, I was a nervous wreck! Did I have to hold her differently?
Por supuesto that I loved her immediately, but how would I show her? Would she ‘feel’ and accept my fierce latina love?
Daniella and I
I had no idea what I was doing. Pero, gracias a Dios that he was with us. I quickly discovered that my girl and I were night and day! Yet we have a good friendship. What I didn’t know then I know now. My sweet girl was stronger than I thought. I forget that sweet doesn’t mean weak. What I discovered immediately was how smart and beautiful she is. Hay si! Every mother says that verdad? Pero pues it’s true, Daniella is like her father, she can fix most things when they break or need to be assembled. Y, in her strong latina fashion which is laced with the English blood she loves her family well.
This week we celebrated our daughter, the gift she’s been to us all. Her dad and brothers still keep her a princess in her own rightful place and she wears her tiara with quiet dignity, even sharing the princess dust with her nieces.
Que Dios te bendiga hija, and like your tata would say, “echale ganas!” Let this new year, this new decade be prosperous and may God fulfill his will for you my love.
This wedding season has ended for us and the younger Ben has stepped into his “husband shoes”. My head is still spinning at this reality, soy suegra de tres, hijole! I hope I can share the wedding season days and the wedding day with you and not be all over the place.
Wedding Planning
The weeks prior to the wedding we discussed in detail all the big parts and the minute details of the ceremony and reception. We were covering all our bases, we all had our assignments. It felt weird helping to plan from far away, definitely out of our comfort zone. A groomsman had to step out of his attending duties to attend to his very pregnant wife. Okay, Emery made an adjustment. Meanwhile, we figured out how to cut expenses with DIY projects, and the supplies for decor that we were bringing were set apart ready to be packed. Life in San Diego was so calm for us, unnaturally calm. The glitches and problems in projects were solved. Projects were complete and boxed. The Monday before the wedding burst into our lives and we had only to get through the maze of preparations for the trip. This shouldn’t be a surprise to you and I’m not trying to scare the upcoming wedding planners, pero, every last minute detail from the flowers being ready for pick up five days too early, to the macarons not being perfectly shaped, hit a bump.
Monday- My dress needed an easy tailoring fix and I took it to my dear friend who stepped right in to help me. Pero no fue fácil. I had to run to the fabric store, she couldn’t go herself. Thank God for facetime and good courteous help at the store. La senorita helped me find a certain kind of lace for a proper adjustment. The clock was ticking, I had my hair appointment at noon. A three hour slot for color, with lowlights and haircut. This was to be a tribute to my sister Patty who would have been with me, but couldn’t. Ves, she always wanted me to do the highlights in my hair but I just never wanted to, somehow this ocasión seemed right to me. Patty was extra as far as a good presentation and this middle child of mine is too. Pero, after all that work, the lowlights in my hair were so low they weren’t visible! When I looked real hard I sort of saw a different color splash. I was so nervous about the change that she had been quite conservative with the “lowlights” . The hairdresser, my friend said, “well at least it softens and adds texture to your hair.” Not being too savvy about good hair or bad hair I smiled and said that my hair looked nice, y vamonos, to the next task.
Then in my fresh new cut and color I rushed over to Emery’s new place. He asked his Tia Sandra and I if we could make his place look clean, cozy and inviting for when he brought his wife home. Hijole! We did, because Emery is that child that asks and receives.
Ahora si I could zoom over to see about my dress. That night was filled with chores and errands.
Tuesday was for my much needed manicure and pedicure. I’m embarrassed to admit that usually it takes a special occasion or a trip to get me to do this much needed grooming. When you’re an abuela, the hang nails are overlooked and the arrugas might be appreciated. But for a soon to be mother in law to be, hijole my hands and feet also needed a complete makeover. Of course we made an occasion of it and got together to do this, I was feeling pretty good as I looked down at my freshly done toes, que bonita. Derrepente, the pressure of responsibility changed for me when Cita, my niece, announced, “I’m handing over the ring to you, don’t let it leave your side, don’t forget to bring it and do be careful with it.” Immediatamente after my pedi and mani I went shopping for a different cross body purse.
Wednesday we were loaded up and on the road to Washington. Eighteen hour drive? No problem. “Sense and Sensibility” was not making much sense as I drove and listened at 1am. While Ben rested, or slept with not too much rest. Ouch! Oooh! Hijole! Twenty hours later we had arrived, we were ready to face the onslaught of work upon arrival to Everett WA. Ready to organize the wed…ding…zzzzz.
Ahora si, after some rest we could tell the wedding trolls “bring it on!” Rehearsal dinner, bouquets, boutonnieres, centerpieces and baked penne ala mexicana- all done with that purse on my body or at least very watchful eyes on it. Here’s a good place to mention that a 2nd groomsman had to step out of his wedding duties, having just been married himself, it was too much. Heavy sigh, it wouldn’t stop Emery. Luego, somewhere right smack in the middle of the rehearsal dinner, Cita did it again! She hands me the grooms ring and says “Rosie, you’ve got to hold on to this ring too, it’s Emery’s ring!” Ring duty was stressful. I’m still wary every time I put my purse down! El anillo! Que trauma!
Bride and Groom at the Rehearsal Dinner
Y aun asi, despite all our energy, enthusiasm and preparedness, life happened, those trolls snuck in. All those expected and unexpected bloopers happened. Like a building up of a great wave to ride, that last week of things to do and the anxious expectation of big changes, and the oopses piled up like a holding wall.
Sunday morning showed up bright eyed and bushy tailed. We were up by 5am and out in the car by 5:45am, a thirty minute drive to the venue with not an ounce of coffee in us, but the adrenaline was moving us into action.
Wedding Day Set Up Crew
We were the wedding party/ set up crew, with the groom right there setting up with us. Her church fam and our out of town guests were there ready and willing to help make the wedding day beautiful. Y así fue, It was a beautiful day lined with sweet moments. I did feel those bloopers though. “I thought you were doing that?” and “Did anyone bring scissors? A knife? Trashbags? Hay! What would become of this reception?! I ran around here and there at the beautiful Blue Boy West Golf Course and Event Center like I knew what I was doing. The only thing I really knew was that my boy was getting married. After a while I went upstairs to the dressing room where the bride and her entourage were getting ready. Bam! I walked into one of the things that scares me most, getting all dressed up and glamourous, who was I kidding! All this girly glamy stuff made me want to run, córrele Rosalba! Then, in the far end of the room was my soon to be daughter In-law.
Em’s Mo
I peered into her morning makeover, in this case it might be more appropriately called a “natural beauty enhancement.” Monique is a natural beauty. Her family calls her Nikki, she prefers Mo as a nickname and I have taken to calling her Ems Mo. She sat there sweet, innocent and beautiful. I felt her nervousness. I wondered about the Jewish beauty, Queen Esther in the ancient days. She had a whole team preparing her to meet the king. My son solo es un príncipe 🥰
I took a couple of blurry pictures with my ancient IPhone 7 of this beautiful girl, then went to get my dress on.
Did I mention that my friend fixed it and I was comfortable and felt pretty when I was all done up, hair, makeup, jewelry and shoes?
Ben, mi hijo, was ready to get his first peek at his bride. Up until this point I had kept it all together, not allowing the threat of changes to steal my peace. When I looked upon my ‘Lil Em,” so grown up, a man ready for his bride, my resolve cracked a bit. I went up to him, and gave him my informal blessing and told him how much I knew God was in this whole wedding and marriage. I couldn’t hold back the admonishment that he should make sure to take good care of this beautiful wife God helped him find, a treasure indeed. We hugged and I prayed and I held back the tears. I was so proud to be that man’s momma.
I know my big sis is proud of him too. I wish again I could share the pics with my ama and my sisters in heaven, they too will be just as happy for him. Por su puesto que his tata would remind him “El que se casa, casa quiere” He who is getting married (casa) must be looking for a home (also casa) of his own. (sorri, en espanol it makes total sense) And I could almost hear my apa saying “Echale ganas!”
The Other Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Greene
This young couple gave all the glory to God for this moment in their lives. The flower girls were sweet little peas and the wedding boy basked in the wedding day, es que, he too loves Ems Mo.
The bride’s daddy held on to his princess as he walked her down the aisle and prepared to give her away. Senior Ben, yikes! Read a beautifully written prayer/blessing for his son from his heart. Just before the vows, the song; Growing Old With You was executed beautifully, con mis hijos y nuera and other church fam members performing on stage blessing the newest Greene pareja. After the I dos, Emery reached for his wife hungrily! The pastor announced Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Greene, and the senior Benjamin Greenes, that would be me and my flaco had to resist the urge to stand amidst the cheers and clapping, the other Benjamin Greene and his wife walked triumphantly down the aisle.
The Reception:
At a Greene celebration you will most likely find my salsa, we can’t have it no other way. Rosie’s salsa and chips to hold you over until the Taco cart ensemble is ready to serve. That sounded muy fancy, but those street tacos were as Emery and Thomas would say “fire!”
My baby, el Thomas, was the very best man! Y, in his unique stilo shared his heart about his love for his brother with the guests. Luego, his big brother Jonathan, spoke such beautiful words and blessings over his brother. Mi hija is so happy to be gaining another sister. Ben, the very fresh husband, sang a song to his new bride. y lo digo again, I am so glad God made me their Ama. In a whirl they went away under the sparklers. Pero, a warning: make sure you buy the right sparklers to prevent an accident. We had a close call.
En Conclusion: The Greene’s didn’t always “keep cool” but Jesus was among us and God’s peace sustained us throughout the season. Daniella was a great wedding coordinator. Mo and her team did a beautiful job decorating at the church, did I mention that the rough gruff groomsmen had to pitch in and do their share of creativity with those centerpieces? They did a great job and everything looked beautiful. Hopefully Daniella will share some wedding day pictures with you. I’ll say this, a beautiful couple for sure. Felicitaciones a Mr and Mrs. Benjamin Emery Greene y que Dios los Bendiga siempre.
Solo ocho dias. 8 days to go till I lose my hijo, not really, but yes really. My little Emery is gonna be a husband in one short week, a twinkling of an eye! Pero, wait! Are we ready? Of course I was ready for marriage. I was a very mature 22 year old bride to be. Everything for Ben and I was gonna be perfect. This young Ben is ready to fly, and all I can do is pray. I’m not ready.
The Wedding Vows:
I kinda want to sit him down, like a time out and make him read his vows and ponder on them and feel them, I did just that, as I pictured his handsome face looking into his bride’s eyes, bright and yearning.
“I, Benjamin Emery Greene take thee, ___to be my wedded wife (su mujer, Hijole! Is all that I will allow myself to think and write) to have and to hold from this day forward, (Oh God give him the wisdom, the passion, the grace to cleave to his beautiful girl always) for better, (Dios mio, let there be muchos “for better” days) for worse, (and please, oh please give my hijo strength enough for both of them when “the worse” days show up, maybe I should warn him, that they do up sometimes unexpectedly, and other times our foolishness invites them) for richer, (Asi es! Gods blessing pressed down, shaken together and overflowing! We do have a generous Father) for poorer, (Hijole! Let this young couple learn to have joy even when Starbucks is out of the budget) in sickness and in health, (Dios mio cuida a mi hijo y a su mujer, oh that my grandchildren would also thrive :D) to love and to cherish, till death do us part, (Jesus draw them always to you and each other, that they may grow old together) according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.”
The Check List
Y por su puesto that my brain is exploding with all the details that can easily be forgotten. Conversations that seem random, but they’re not. De veras, they matter, I never really touch the real check list.
Me: Daniella, did they remember the plates for the appetizers?
Daniella: I’ll check
Me: What do you think of using this scripture? Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord”
Daniella: I’ll make a sign with it.
Me: I’m gonna change the menu again. I am not comfortable making “Pasta al limone” I know Colleen says it’s easy, but I’m not used to following a recipe. You know how I cook, I tweaked it before I could get through with it, it was ok. Thomas liked it. Cita said it needed more lemon and it needed to be saucier. I’m not comfortable. I’m gonna do Mexican. I’ll make enchiladas, verdes y rojas. Pero…
Daniella: Mom, just make your pasta bakes, you’re comfortable with those.
Me: Yes, ok I’ll do that instead. We need to figure out the appetizer table.
This conversation is getting more and more involved and tangled as the day gets closer. Y, the conversation with self is also endless. I wonder if my dress is ready yet? I’m glad I found shoes. I can’t believe that on Tuesday will be our last opportunity to sit at the dinner table together, asi es, our last time with Emery as a single man, mi hijo is going to the altar of marriage, que voy hacer? I just heard my daughter’s words again “Mom you have other children” Ya se, ya se, I haven’t lost a son, he’s not cutting me out of his life, but I kinda feel that loss right now as I’m also hearing my older sons words after Daniella was married “So how’s life without the princess in the house?” Bofetada! Hijole that transition was too hard for me. I’ll talk about the rehearsal dinner instead.
Rehearsal Dinner
Primeramente, who instituted these edict rules such as a fancy “wedding rehearsal dinner” U yu yui, De veras? What stress just before the big day, but I guess it’s nice to say thanks to all hands that help make this day beautiful for the couple huh? According to the rules, it’s dinner for the wedding party, but with our church family, it’s all hands on deck! So our dinner party is much larger. Y mi hija, who is rich in creativity, is in DIY mode, she’s gonna make it beautiful, she only needs me to make it tasty and inviting, and I say, then let me cook Mexican food! Were having a nice Italian dinner, made by me, a strong latina woman. Breath Rosie, it’ll be delicious! Our family and friends, who will be gathered will love it, verdad que si? Because they love us. Relax, (what does that feel like?) the wedding is gonna be beautiful.
En conclusion
There isn’t a conclusion, but I’ll keep you posted. I’ve gotta pack, I’ve gotta get my nails done and a petti. Mi hijo is getting married en ocho dias.
Lately my family has been joking about having a podcast called “Counter Talk” In honor or our conversations around the kitchen counter. In our house, at the kitchen counter besides the food that gets put out for a gathering, there en el mostrador issues get pulled out, hashed out, dissected and either thrown out or left for another session. Nowadays it’s called “unpacking” with the good intention of calmly discussing a matter. Pero at the Greene home it’s more like something slipped out, or fell out. Ya sabes, when something is on our minds, we carry it with us, bouncing around our head very loosely y de repente! Bam, it’s on the kitchen counter. Aveces, one of us, usually Emery or myself will bring that heavyweight topic and purposely and not very gently place it on the counter, saying “This happened and I’m ticked!”
What Does God Say About the Matter?
Through the years, Counter Talks have been therapeutic. We squeeze out every reaction, every feeling that comes forward because of ‘the issue,’ and we look for similar reactions from those at the counter. At the moment we don’t want to hear “What does God say about the matter?” Pero, pulling God into our counter talks makes them what they are; sometimes painful, beautiful, appreciated and refreshing. A veces, it’s one on one conversations but other times everyone at dinner is chiming in, contributing their thoughts to make sure all parts of the matter are viewed. While I’m on the kitchen side, working on something to serve, we are discussing a matter, and I will paint ‘the offender’ as maybe innocent or at the very least their intentions had no malice behind them, come on, they were not trying to hurt. It gets dicey when the conclusions come to:
“Let it go” Do nothing. God will make it right in the end, pero waiting for healing to come is so hard. Then there’s the other conclusion, You can’t just let it go, you’ve got to talk to that person, not about the person. You’ll have to ‘confront’ the matter and deal with it. Hijole! It can be dramatico, what if it ends a friendship? What if… All of this comes out at the counter.
When The Kids Grow Up
Nunca pense, that one day my kids would be “painting the bigger picture” at the kitchen counter. El otro dia, mi hijo was on my side of the kitchen counter?! While he ate his slice of chocolate cake and ice cream he said things like “Mom like you have always said” or “You taught us this” and he pulled God right into the matter! Luego, when we left the counter I received a text from my baby, ya se, he’s 20 and all grown up, his text reminded me that God’s gifts are worth fighting for. I laid in bed amazed at how much my kids hope in Jesus and despite their youth I was able to receive their gifts of encouragement and their challenges to believe God in the matter.
En Conclusion
Este mes has been a hard month for me, I’ve wanted to run away, but that takes too much work, so I considered just crawling into bed to sleep “it” off and I have tried it, not sure if it helped. It’s been a month overflowing with every imaginable feeling surfacing and in me no strength to stop them from strutting. When Thomas, mi baby, sent that encouraging text he mentioned a “season of winter” Hijole! I’m so very thankful for the support God has given me, winter is my least favorite season. Pero, I am pleasantly and gratefully surprised that the support included my very own children.
Psalms 127:3 has taken a fuller, deeper meaning in my soul. “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward” (NKJ)
Ya estuvo! I’m done. No more teenagers to raise. Did you hear that door close? It was loud as that last teen left. This was my fourth time experiencing the end of raising another teen, and still each time that 19 year old teen leaves, I hold my breath regretting that he’s never coming back. Pero, no need to regret, they come back as… “adult children.” Twenty year old Thomas came through my front door just as loud, “HEY, HEY, HEY!” Y sabes que? He still sounds like that 19 year old that left last Thursday morning? I’m glad, because this last time was hitting me hard, again, I fretted that my parenting ‘license’ expired?
Empty Nesters are ‘those’ parents who are done raising children, as in, the children leave home. Gracias a Dios that as I write this, I don’t quite fit that description yet. Like I did with his brothers, les digo, “Look out and over the side of the nest” Agarrense! Hang on tight to Jesus
Because adulting is all that, and more, hijole!
Permit me to indulge in memories of Thomas stepping into our lives… He was definitely a surprise.
He showed up in my womb and made himself at home, in perhaps the most critical time of my life…When I thought I needed to go a different way, when I believed I had to “take control” of my life, asi es, pero! Please don’t look at me like that, humans, were like that, thank God that he pulled me “back into the ark”…After I dropped all my fears, I was able to embrace this wonderful surprise and of course 20 years later, I can say he was bien facil to deliver at only 8 1/2 libras 😀
His siblings fell in love with him as soon as they met him. Jonathan couldn’t hold him enough, Daniella easily nurtured him too, since Emery kept “el baby” position. They both enjoyed their big sister.
My older sister Lupe absolutely fell in love with my guero, Thomas, he was not so secretly her favorite! And he loved her back…It was a match made in heaven.
Our dear friend Doug, well he was wrapped around 3 year old Thomas’s little finger. He gives God the glory for using Thomas to soften his heart toward the gospel, imaginate!
My surprise gift of a son turned out to be a gift to others. This little son of my “old age” makes me want to keep him home as long as he wants, but even as I write this, I’ve been praying that God would make him ‘His man’ and give him eyes to find a good candidate 😀 for a wife and “obtain favor from the Lord! (Prov. 18:22)
En Conclusion:
As I change lanes into “Empty Nesters” living, I’m one of those parents who can’t make up her mind. Now that I’m an abuela, I love a quiet house but, oh how I miss my kids when they don’t come around. Y ahora, they come with the rest of my inheritance, it does get pretty loud en mi casa. When they visit, Ben checks out at his bedtime, usually pretty tired, but we keep right on talking. When they do leave, usually late, I close the door behind them and take a heavy sigh of relief mixed with contentment. My house is quiet again.
I’m a mother in-law “in waiting”. And as much as I don’t want it to be an anxious feeling, it is. Mi hijo, found the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Heavy sigh, cómo van a cambiar las cosas. Change is good Rosie. Sabes? They’re a good looking couple. She captured his heart and they are now an engaged couple
.…Y ahora que? Well, I’ve got my ticket to board that wedding planning roller coaster ride, suddenly, time is upon us. When they give the green light for all of us to jump in and help plan, we will. Apurate hijo! Ben said, “Wow! It’s been 10 years since our last weddings” Hijole!
When You Know That You Know
Once a couple” knows,” you would think that everyone would just smoothly adjust to their sweet love and choices. Usually a couple gets giddy with fairy tales happily ever after dreams and they walk into their “revelation” expecting everyone to come for the ride. Pero pues, it’s a mixture of emotions for anyone securely connected. Emotions need to be worked out and checked as the couple prepares for their destiny.
While I’m waiting for my wedding planning assignements, come with me as I walk through some days of my early engagement days, before the wedding planning:
Comprometida!
Ben and I got engaged and went to share the wonderful news with my parents. No wedding plans in mind, just the realization that we would always be one. “Hijole!” My apa said to my gringo fiancee, as he put our arms next to each other “ Do you see what color she is?” I had already crossed that hurdle. It was a pretty hard hurdle to jump, es que, I was nervous. I was scared to death about marrying outside of mi gente, but after 2 years of praying and my Benjamin waiting somewhat patiently, I knew that I knew that God was for a Greene/Zepeda union so I said yes, yes, yes to his proposal. My apa’s question made me nervous but Ben, the man of few words, said “Yes, I do and I like it.” My apa watched us through the years and saw the steady man his son in-law was and he was relieved that our skin color truly didn’t matter to either of us.
In that same visit, I look back and thank God for mi ama, who didn’t ask what the plan was, who didn’t fret just then about my wedding day. Primero, she needed to see how this young man would handle a strong Latina woman. She did as was her custom, and invited him to the table for a meal and when Ben sat down to eat she served him. He enjoyed his food, and she watched as she heated las tortillas. Maybe he was alright, at least he knew not to reject her. She offered seconds, and my flaco hungrily said yes! And that was enough, my ama liked my gringo.
For most of our engagement I was alone. Esperate! Ben didn’t ask me to marry him and ignore me. Es que, he was also committed to the U.S. Navy, so my sailor went out to sea. As a newly engaged girl I was a mess! Lonely for my Benjamin and not sure what direction to go as far as getting ready for my wedding day. My maid of honor set me straight when she could no longer watch me go in circles. Thank God for maid of honors, they are your confidants, your helpers, your doers in that busy season.
Ben had already told his mother about his Mexican-American girlfriend, so very soon after we were engaged and I was sad about Ben being away, I received a letter from my future suegra. My husband takes after her, he displays little, muy poquita emoción! Her letter calmly welcomed me into her family and she said she looked forward to meeting me! Hijole! How do you respond to that? All kinds of questions came up in my head. What would she think? Did she know, like really know that I was brown? Ben had asked me if I would write a letter to her and he also asked if I would send a picture of myself! But I hadn’t, I just couldn’t, then I got her letter. Now I had to respond. I needed to rush and get a picture taken. In those days, we had to go to the photo studio, so Colleen, my bestie, my maid of honor suggested that I wear a nice bright shirt, a pink one! She assured me that it complimented my nice coloring. Que?! Sheesh, I had it all wrong then.
I got through the very difficult first letter just in time to start my wedding planning and started a nice letter writing friendship with my suegra to be.
En Conclusion: As I’m remembering these days of my engagement, I think of Emerys sweet girl and pray that God will help me to be a blessing to her now, before the wedding day. Y que Dios me los bendiga as they plan, on that day and all the days of their marriage journey.
According to the Birth Order character trait mold, my middle child should have been one that avoided conflict, looked for the road that was smooth and avoided conflict. Hijole! My middle child broke that mold! This is my birthday shout out to my hijo!, his birthday is coming up next week, his golden birthday.
He was for five years el “baby” enjoying his papis shoulder. Everywhere we went he was seen carried by his daddy. It was a cozy time for him, but one day, all of a sudden, he was squished into the middle position, his daddy was carrying his little brother. He would have to fight for his turn on daddy’s shoulder now. Today, I’ll brag about my middle child. He is a sweet little brother and a great big brother. He is a grateful son who honors his parents by his godly choices.
How can I describe my son to you? I want to paint the beautiful picture of what I see, what God sees. Pero, he’s the watercolor painter, not me.
One of the ways I love to commemorate the gift of my children on is by remembering the day they were born. Unforgettable experiences for sure. Pero, pa que me hago! I love talking about my inheritance any chance I get. Fíjense, these are just a glimpse of my roller coaster ride with this child of mine:
Emery is a tardy kid, he manages to make people wait. On the day that he was born, I pushed for two hours before he realized it was time to make his grand entry. It was more like he was prodded out.
Emery was a quiet child, until he was not. Some of our friends wondered if he could talk, they don’t anymore. He said what needed to be said for his “rights” to be considered. His little voice would chime in with, “I don’t agree” when plans were being made. His two older siblings say that he got away with way too many things.
Emery was my one child that went to preschool, because the doctor prescribed it. His pediatrician was worried that he was much too clingy to me. He warned me that kindergarten would be a nightmare for him if I didn’t get him started in preschool. Perhaps we were both clingy because when I dropped him off, we both cried.
Emery clung to the ‘baby’ title as long as he could. Even after Thomas, the baby, was born, he still had the ‘power’ to influence me before the verdict was pronounced, “caso cerrado!” When the case was closed and I said no, he found a loophole. When the verdict had gone in his favor, he asked for more!
Emery makes a friend easily. Una vez, when he was a young teen, I had to intervene with a friendship and bring a healthy separation, hijole! You would think that I had condemned him to a life of banishment! He used all his “debating skills” Ya se! A real Mexicana would have squelched that right down, con la mirada! You know that look that warns you to stop while you’re ahead. Pero, Emery Greene, he’s something else. That day, he cried at the injustice of my mothering, and in secret I cried too. Pero mira, it all worked nicely, he established good healthy friendship boundaries.
Emery is confident in our love for him. He loves us, he trusts us and appreciates us. I wanted to say “Emery loves me” but it felt a little narcissistic. Es que, somehow, through the years this pushy middle child of mine has not been repelled by this strong Latina woman and he’s pulled me, su madre, into his circle of most confidant friends.
En conclusión:
I said to myself, I hope que todo el mundo sees, just how blessed I am! when I put on that “madre culeca” robe and tell you about my blessings, it’s because the Bible says “let the redeemed of the Lord say so!”
Feliz cumpleaños a mi little flaco: Benjamin Emery Greene. Like my cuñada Mary says “Que te valla bien y Que Dios te bendiga y te cuide” May It go well with you, May God bless and keep you.
Mexican-American Girl 