I was listening to a podcast this week that spoke about “father wounds” and how to overcome them. The interviewee said that one tool used to overcome this, is writing a letter to your absentee dad to “get it all out.”  Y me puse a pensar, that I should have done the opposite. What was the opposite? Thanking my parents for their parenting, for their sacrifices and for their love. Que lastima that I didn’t think of it sooner, like 34 years ago. The interviewee said that the purpose of the letter was to help the hurt person. Well then, a gratitude letter will be very therapeutic and healing for me today on Mothers day. Even though my ama is gone, she really truly is in a better place called Heaven. In my letter, I’ll tell her how much I appreciate the things she gave me and the things she left me. Maybe she’ll get the letter and it’ll be a mothers day gift in heaven for her. Ok here it goes, my inadequate attempt at counting a few of the “mother blessings” I experienced.

Querida Ama,

Hoy por ser dia de las madres, le mando esta carta. Ni le voy a preguntar como esta porque se que esta bien, aya con Dios, ya no tiene dolor ni penas que le causen lágrimas tristes o dolorosas. (I already know how she is doing. My ama is having the time of her eternal life, no more pain, no more tears) Después de tantos años, quiero darle las gracias por todo lo que hizo por mí, mis hermanos y mi apa. (Today on Mexican mothers day, I feel a need to tell you that I truly am thankful for all your love and sacrifice for me, my siblings and my apa)

Gracias por su cuidado, me imagino que después de 7 hijos, usted estaba cansada, pero nunca se quejo. (Ama, you must have been very tired when you had your 8th baby, but I never felt rejection from you, besides, they say moms never get tired.) Gracias por no echarme a un lado cuanto Dios le concedió otro varón, mi hermanito. (You didn’t put me aside when my cute little brother came along, you led me to enjoy him, chicha eventually became my friend)

Gracias ama,  por enseñarme como echarle ganas cuando hay quehacer. Que los trastes,  que el lavado, luego tender y planchar la ropa, que la comida, (thanks for teaching me a good work ethic, I didn’t scorn housework, I faced it.) Entre a mi propia casa, esposa y luego madre, lista para cuidar a mi familia. (Ama you equipped me for my call as a homemaker and I’m so thankful) Todos esos detallitos que muchas veces los hijos ni toman en cuenta, no son hechos en vano. Ahora si, como me acuerdo de la avena que nos servía, y el desayuno que nunca nos hizo falta. Las tortillas de harina y los frijolitos fritos. (All the little details you added to our lives, we took for granted in our childhood, but today, I remember and appreciate your care for us)

Ama, se que con tanta familia, no había dias de descanso para usted, gracias que estuvo al tanto de su familia. (I know you never had any rest with such a large family.)

Gracias por amar y aguantar a mi apa y mantener nuestra familia unida. (Thanks for loving my apa and keeping our family in unity.) Gracias por insistir que habláramos en español, que bien me ha hecho. (Oh I’m so glad that you set the rule of “Spanish only” at home, today, I benefit from both my languages.) Gracias por la disciplina que nos mantuvo en los buenos caminos. (The timely discipline kept us on the straight and narrow) Gracias por preocuparse tanto por nosotros. (Thank you for your concern, I’m sorry that we worried you so much at times.)

Gracias por aceptarme, fue tremendo mi cambio, algo radical lo que pasó en mi, cuando acepté a Jesus como mi Salvador y Senor. (You never rejected me ama, thank you, even when I became a radical Christian.) Gracias por aceptar a mi gringo. (Ama, you immediately accepted my husband to be and I was so grateful)  Aún no conoce a mis hijos, pero va ver todo lo que Dios ha hecho y va ser abuela muy culeca.(When you meet my kids, your grandchildren, you will rejoice and be so pleased at what great people they are.)

Ama, le doy gracias a Dios que la tuve por 23 años. Y gracias a usted por nuestra familia Zepeda en Calipatria. Mis hermanos y mis hermanas, hay la llevan, Dios ha hecho mucho en nuestras vidas. Anhelo verla ama. Siga disfrutando en la gloria del Señor. (Ama, I thank God that I had you in my life for 23 years. Thank you for my family, those of us who remain here on earth are seeing God’s help and covering. I miss you ama. Keep enjoying your good time in heaven with Jesus.)

Saludos a mi apa, Lupe y Patricia. Su hija, que no se olvida de usted, y todo lo que dio por mi. (Greetings to my sisters and my apa there with you)

Le mando mi mucho amor y cariño, su hija,

Rosalba

En Conclusíon

A Thank you letter felt good.  I don’t know how the mail works in heaven, but it was a  good exercise for me. Psalms 103: 2 says Bless the Lord , oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits. My ama was a wonderful benefit to my life and I remember her often. Gracias a Dios that I had my ama in my life.  If you have your momma near you, or if she’s faraway, honor her, you will be blessed. If you don’t have your ama anymore, honor her anyway.  Find a mom to bless, and be blessed. Feliz dia de las madres y que Dios las Bendiga