Our Love Languages

Is Valentines Day a big deal to you? It is to retailers around the globe. It’s definitely muy significante to new love birds.Y quizas it’s a huge deal when you’re single? Singleness is extra on Valentines Day, verdad? I remember bien clarito the dread of the upcoming Valentines Day.. I always imagined que todo el mundo was out on a romantic date but me. Single Awareness Day is February 15, Pero hijole! It was on the 14th that I was really SAD. Gracias a Dios that I’ve got my amor, I am the wife of his youth. After 3 decades we rejoice, knowing that God has kept us one. We fight, sometimes, pero mostly we contend hard to practice the way of true love.  To some people this kind of love is a difficult foreign language to acquire, y pues, I’m still learning it.

Do you know of the Five Love languages that Dr. Gary Chapman writes about? Aye te va, my interpretations. 

Words of affirmation: It’s my love language. He’s gonna tell me how good, great and wonderful I am. BUT he’s not just going to flatter me, or tell me a lie. He’s going to find something good that he sees in me and tell me. That will lift me up and encourage me. Pues! What can I say, my Cold Blooded Englishman is a man of few words. I’ve learned how to read his words of affirmation from his touch. My son always jokes “I told her that I loved her when I married her!” 

Acts of Service– This is my other love language. I get up and fix his lunch and make him breakfast before he leaves for work. He gets up and makes my coffee. I try to make his favorite food, hijole! He loves fish and I can’t even stand the smell of it! I’m glad we didn’t have that in the fine print of the wedding vows. He’s satisfied with a back rub. Hmmm… in our culturally mixed marriage, I am speaking his love language in my dialect? 

Receiving Gifts:  Dr. Chapman writes that the person who speaks this love language will feel loved when they get a nice gift from their spouse. Segun, it’s neither of our primary languages, but we definitely enjoy receiving gifts. Ben is a thoughtful gifter and he is generous. Our kids know that “the good gifts” come from their dad and the needed gifts come from their mother. Honestly, roses on Valentine’s day are not that critical to me, especially when our budget is tight! Pero, one day while he was at work, the owner of the house had some beautiful yellow roses and my Flaco  took a pic and sent it to me with those much desired words of affirmation “I thought of you when I saw this rose” Yes! Alleluia!  It was a beautiful yellow rose, now that I think about it, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen one so beautiful again. Needless to say I was en las nubes that afternoon, sitting cozy on that cloud of happy thoughts. 

Quality Time: This one is tricky. Quality? As in lets have a deep conversation y un cafecito. Let’s walk around the neighborhood and talk. Let’s use lots of words, please. Or, let’s get the fire going and pick up our current books. Cozy, quiet and calm reading time, while the fire crackles. Ben drinks up this quality time. Pero, my absolute favorite is when the familia gangs up on us and plans a family night and since it’s our house they include us.

Physical Touch: Calmense! Not that kind of touch…only, but the sweet touch of everyday reaching out to put your hand on your spouse. This is not my love language but, what I would do if Ben ever stopped reaching out for me during our worship time in the middle of church. One hand over my shoulder and the other lifted to God in adoration. It’s Ben’s prominent love language and he demonstrates it generously. 

En Conclusion:

Just last night in our marriage seminar I heard these words again “practice makes perfect.” Valentines weekend, asi es, milk it, take all that is your portion, and enjoy “El Dia del Amor” while practicing God’s love language.

Esperate,  Wise King Solomon warned 

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up nor awake my love, until he please.” (Song of Solomon 8:4)


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